Thursday, 21 August 2014

Happy Birthday Ginny

8 years ago today my life changed forever. I didn't find out for another two years how drastic that change would be but all the same demand to grow up was a colossal shift in itself. I became a mom still a child myself and everything for the rest of my life would be different. I still look at my girls every day and wonder how on earth I made these little creatures, I blame myself for Ginny's disabling life long condition because no matter what anyone says every miswired connection in that brain of hers was one made within me, and I spend so much time trying to make life a manageable for her. 

8yrs down the line and she requires more care and attention than she ever did that day or any other of her infancy. Today we'll have no party and no pile of presents. The years have showed us how little she cares for conventional gifts. We were meant to spend the week camping in three cliffs bay as there isn't much she loves more than the outdoors and the water but those plans had to be cancelled because of my spinal injury so today we'll go to London. If she sees something she likes we'll get her it if not than at least we've had a nice day out, at some point we'll have cake. Tomorrow we'll go swimming, hopefully have a good run around at the park. We'll make the most of daddy's two days off and give her a happy and hopefully meltdown free time away from the stresses of carers who can't manage her and the confusion of being off school for the summer break, maybe we'll manage a smiley picture or two, who knows. 

It's not the way I imagined life would go all those years ago but it's the life we live and will continue to. It's another year we've made it through and another full of small steps forward and big ones back. It's a year her lack of self preservation and understanding danger hasn't killed her, and that should be enough to celebrate so Happy Birthday Ginny. Were going to make it through this and hopefully one day it won't be so hard.

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